Apparently I am working on things but nevertheless enjoying the process. I know this is not new information; but through my experience it is. Reading philosophy and spiritual writings is valuable, but it is when we experience these truths through our own action that we grow and step into the understanding of the originating author.
My brother has a viable, beneficial, and potentially lucrative business model he is developing; and seeing that I am his brother and that there is no wall between I am by extension a part of the process. The main issue at this point is what is the best way to go about protecting an intellectual idea? After a lengthy and impassioned discussion we had two days ago a peculiar awareness began to present itself to me. I realized many things from this conversation, most having nothing to do with the topic. I realized that I was habitually using a guise of an ancient modality of playing the devil’s advocate in a way so as to illuminate possible pitfalls. I thought I was being wise in sharing my past experiences with him. At one level this is fine and loving, but something cracked open within me. My brother said a few times that he was thinking of the solution and nothing else and I finally HEARD him. His statement is the inspiration for this writing.
It seems this statement was the key into something much larger than I imagined.
Upon observance of our dialog I realized that my initial response to his principle question was my final response of the conversation. What I first replied was now the first step I offered for him to take after our conversation, but what a travel we took to hear this. Of course many other illuminating insights were gained, but I wonder what the conversation would have been like through mindfulness. I am not saying that my brother is not mindful, but I feel we would both benefit from practicing evolved forms of observance while conversing.
I have been aware of something beyond words for years concerning semantics and word usage, but only to the extent that it existed at my current understanding. I was naturally being drawn towards a more symbolic way of communicating. I had always though that my poetic and visual way of speaking was a distraction and immature, I am beginning to see another explanation. Now there is a lot more to observe in dialog which seems more symbolic and poetic in its meter and space. I also realized that there has been a slight frustration within me concerning myself and my brother’s conversations, and how I feel some are compared to the past and not dancing in the mysterious present. I was observing our dialogs harmonizing more, and I was curious as to what had created this new and smoother way we shared. I realized that there is no way not to speak excluding foundation; it is just where we place our awareness during collective communication that opens us up to new evolving dialog. I am sure this is part of what unconsciously sent me searching of a way to create a more productive space for us in this regard.
We had traveled through a circle, and not for the first time. In fact, I have been noticing this within most conversations I have, and of those I observe in others; degrees, status and intelligence not a factor. It seems our conversation now as I reflected instead of being comprised of parts was being experienced wholly as a “thing” or a living being, revealing a larger rhythm, revealing nature. I found myself hyper-aware of the arc traveled. It is so interesting that this larger awareness even shows up in a simple dialog, actually, because it always IS. As I observe our conversations now I am aware of the conversation as a whole and the mechanics we employ. Somehow my brother and mine dialog illumined a larger relationship: how do we talk to each other and what is going on as we do?
What is the flow of dialog and what affects that flow?
Is there a mindful way to observe ourselves as we speak, or not, with others beyond concept?
Is there a way to be aware of the flow; a tangible way to assist by strategically saying less?
I started to think about these questions and their inherent value. What is a question and what is really happening when we ask a question in conversation? What happens to the flow when we ask a question? I realized as I observed this whole aspect of dialog between us that questions strongly affect flow. I see dialog as a larger wave. It is as though the flow is moving forward and the question has the ability to remain harmonious or divert, even halt inspiration. You may be walking in the middle of nowhere peaceful and unaware of where you are and then someone asks you a question and it is as though you step out of the flow to answer. Of course this may be relevant at the time. I just wanted to plant a visceral seed for the remainder of this writing.
I observe degrees of “stepping out” in conversations. Many questions do not empower, they create intersections and intricate intersections at that which usually lead anywhere but the current topic. How many business meetings have we sat in only to observe nothing accomplished? Everyone comes together and waves their flags and asks useless and empty questions only to exit unaware of the larger potential that existed for the group. Can we answer or reply with a question that allows the flow to continue? Are not the questions derived and supported by the existing knowledge base of the questioner prone to ego tendencies? Yes, everyone's. It is as though the one who asks is searching for weakness in the other to validate themselves through knowing the answer to their own question or even negating the topic all together, often bringing the conversation to a level that only includes them: their ego. So, just as we observe ourselves through meditation we can employ observance within collectives. We can begin evolved dialog by understanding our questions and habits.
Too many questions are empty. “What do you mean” is not conveying to the person what needs clarification. What do you mean does not address anything it just places the conversation into the one asking, and proves that they are not thinking beyond their comfort zone. "What do you mean?" is someone saying nothing - even "please continue" takes less time, words, and energy to say and it is empowering. The individual ego accepts that it does not know, and by this admission the collective continues. The flow has morphed from containing to being contained. Could we not say “please elaborate;" meaning I have been following you but need more information? Or “I like where you are going and would like to add my idea.” Look at how this affects the larger flowing inspiration. It is an empowering statement that says “keep flowing.” It says “flow keep flowing and let’s see where we get to because you are larger than the parts.” It is creating the space for the idea to continue. It also creates a space for everyone to feel unified instead of diversified by the myriad (usually overly intelligent) questions. It simplifies the conversation by transcending the individual ego that habitually presents itself allowing the larger dialog to Be. How many conversations are circuitous? We say the same things over and over with different words because we are not being mindful of the larger relationship inherent in the flow. Our ego is stuck in a loop when only awareness affords the next step. Dialog can be a way to experience a larger space with others, opening us up for amazing collective possibilities. If we could see a model of the mind we might see these shallow thoughts and questions buzzing near the surface in an “automatic reply zone.” Instead of deeper cognition and inspiration, these automatic “knee-jerk” responses play out and do nothing for the conversation or meeting but dilute. Instead of 15 minutes of valuable and cohesive dialog in two hours how about an hour? How much more could be achieved by being mindful enough to avoid habits within conversations?
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